My Friend Gurner

Gurner was a simple man, a pleasant man. But he always had his upper lip tucked in way too much, which wasn't too helpful at job interviews. Nevertheless, he eventually got a new job at Walgreen's as one of those guys who greets you.

But Gurner wasn't content. He would always consider himself less than equal to others. His lip was troubling him. He would often times try to conceal it as much as possible, but that only made matters worse (see right). So, concealing it was out of the question...what to do what to do (litterally: author is at a block as to where he can bring this story to an end!) Ah, here we are. So, as I was saying, Gurner needed a new plan, but first, he had to give his two weeks notice to the people at Walmart...I mean, Walgreen's. What's the difference between those two stores anyways? Well, Gurner's two weeks ended, and he set out in his Winnebago. Unfortunetly, he got a flat tire, and had to hitch-hike all the way to Memphis, where he had scheduled a doctor's appointment (though he lived in Detroit...don't ask, everything in Memphis was better for Gurner). Well, he didn't as much hitch-hike as much as he walked...no one would pick poor Gurner up. Well, would you? I know I wouldn't pick up a fella like that....his own mama wouldn't look at him straight in the eye!

Anyways, after several months of walking, he finally made it to Memphis. He got many stares walking into the doctor's office, but the actual doctor didn't mind much cuz he was blind. But, as he felt his face, he knew something was wrong. Emergency surgery and reconstructive surgery would be needed (get that? his face was so bad, he needed TWO KINDS of surgery!)

But, there would be a long recovery time. Four months of having his face in a bunch of bandages. Every month a new layer came off. January came. Then March. Woops, forgot February. Then April. Finally, May came, and Gurner finally took off the final layer. And, oh what a handsome man he was!