"He pulled that right out of his butt."
--Joelle S.
"Be more creative, F---head!"
--Mr. Truskowski
"So? People call me a--hole but if I put it on a shirt it would still piss people off."
--Mr. Howe
"You don't want to be an ignoramus."
--Mr. O'Connell
"Sometimes I get a sub from Cousins, then I get a sub from Big Mike's, then I shovel em together and make one big f---in' sandwich."
--co-host of a local cable access show
"Plus there are hot girls at matc, and they talk to me and make my pants feel smaller."
--Dave Thomas
"Sometimes I wish I were just normal, but then I think, I DONT WANNA BE A SOCCER PLAYER!"
---Chris
"I just love corrupting the Freshmen class, ya know? I mean, just look at them! So young, so innocent....I just want take one home with me like I would a puppy, they're so cute!"
---Jack Perkins
"Friends in sitcoms don't get together every Saturday night to play 'Euchre'."
---Bert
"This morning, I was brushing my teeth and decided to take one of those vitamins you take because you don't eat as healthy as you should. Well, then I choked on it. I thought to myself, man, I wouldn't have this problem if I just ate healthy, but then I thought again, what would stop me from choking that food?"
---Chris
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